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If you want a long-lasting and communal guild, then do NOT read this thread. However, if you want your guild to go down the toilet faster than you can say, "Gustaf likes men" then read on.
Good ways to fuck up your guild
By UnderDog aka Oyarsa
1. Name your guild after a popular anime.
Gohan can probably kick my ass. He can probably kick yours too. So why not name your guild after an ass-kicking superhero, right?
NO.
For starters, naming your guild after an ass-kicking alien will not help you absorb some of his ass-kicking powers. However, it will attract a lot of other people who idolize Gohan, and while some of these people may be normal, a guild full of super saiyans and people screaming kame-hame-ha is just too much tetosterone for one guild.
2. Give people you don't know very well access to the guild bank.
As a kid, I thought Mr. Rogers was the nicest guy I ever knew. Then it turns out he molested some kids, and my childhood icon crumbled away. If someone like even Mr. Rogers can do evil things, then so can your "good friend" who you met online last week. One week might seem like ages on the Internet or when you're young, but there have been so many cases where a guild was robbed because the leader foolishly trusted someone he/she shouldn't have.
Take a lesson from Red Riding Hood. If the old lady has big teeth, huge eyes, and fucking claws, then she is NOT your fucking grandmother. If Red Riding Hood was anything but blonde, she would have pulled out her shotgun and sent the wolf to the next world. If Person A says he/she is your friend, that doesn't mean anything, until they prove their words.
3. Invite a lot of emo people to your guild.
Emo people are cool. They're sarcastically witty at times, and they can be insightful at times. But don't make your ENTIRE guild full of emo people or you'll be running out of razorblades faster than your guild bank can afford them. When emo people clash in a conflict, it doesn't matter what you're doing, you better fucking run away. When emo people fight, it's not a battleground, but more of a covert operation. Person A tells his/her friends about his/her woes, while Person B does the same. Instead of an instant heated exchange of words, emo people like to make a tangled web of drama that consumes as many people as possible in a poisonous way. So if you like having your guild more toxic than Satan's butthole, feel free to invite a lot of emo people into your guild.
4. Run your guild based on a shady or orally defined hierarchy.
You're probably wondering what the fuck I mean by that. Basically, if the leader plays favorites, and some members get excluded, people will get pissed. Look at Fidel Castro for example. He's the dictator of Cuba. And his people hate him for that. If you don't agree, take a fucking look as to what his barber does to him.
No sane person would give the leader of their country such an ugly look unless there was a strong grudge.
More to come...
06-17-2006, 03:10 PM
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