omg this list is so cute
! can a hermaphrodite that perfect exist out there??
1. Know how to make you smile when you are down, or up, which ever way you want to do it that time.
2. Try to secretly smell your hair, but you always notice.
3. Stick up to you, but still respect your intolerance.
4. Give you the remote control during the game, and then bitch about you not paying any attention to him, or her... This hermaphrodite business has me confused...
5. Come up behind you and put his manly arm around you, and the female thin one too.
6. Play with your hair, and then stick gum in it
7. His hands always find yours, suddenly she gives you a sammish.
8. Be cute when he really wants something, or cry over nothing you've done to her.
9. Offer you plenty of massages, as long as you give back.
10. Dance with you, even if he feels like a dork, because two girls doing it is just so hawt, (except she has a dick and a vagina...)
11. Never run out of love or sammish supplies, those are very important!
12. Be funny, but know when to be serious, or be a dumb woman and not understand a single joke, even if you tell it.
13. Realize he's being funny when he needs to be serious, and still not understand a single joke, damn you estrogen for making women dumb.
14. Be patient when you take forever to get ready, or take for ever to get ready, and not say: "sorry for making you wait, I accidentally a whole shower.", fkn bitch
15. React so cutely when you hit him and it actually hurts, and get completely pissed off when you play rough.
16. Smile a lot, or simply just sob every time something goes wrong, because all the world hates her..
17. Plans a romantic date full of cheesy things he wouldn't normally like to do, just b/c he knows it means a lot to you, or make you cancel everything because she accidentally a whole shower, I FKN WASTED 1 WEEK OF MY LIFE PREPARING THAT DINNER YOU FUCKING BITCH, IT WAS SO PERFECT...
18. Appreciate you, or not give you enough value.
19. Help others out. (what everyone should have morals)
20. Drive 5 hours just to see you for 1, or don't drive at all because everyone knows women can't drive...
21. Always gives you a peck on the cheek when you depart from each others company, even when his friends are watching, demand a peck always you leaving, because his friends are less important than you.
22. Sing, even if he can't, and act all bitchy when someone states the fact that you can't really sing, progesterone, tsk, tsk...
23. Have a creative sense of humor, or no humor at all, as I've said before women are dumb, so they can't understand jokes..
24. Stare at you, then feel hot because someone's staring back. (PS: You have a huge stain on your blouse)
25. Call for no reason, always ask the reason for calling, because you are in charge and want to get hit, should have minded your own business...
26. Quit smoking, chewing, drinking, or drugs-Just because he loves you that much to quit it, or simply stop shopping, you are spending the same amount of money approximately.