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  #1  
Suinia
Game Reviewer
 
Default Kanesian Chronicles: Blackwater - 01-08-2011, 04:48 PM
I got bored with the Unborn one. : |
(I really wanted to write this one instead >o>
(All the entries in the encyclopedia will be revealed inside the story itself. It's just posted up front for planning purposes and to refer back to if confused.)

PLANNING / Kanesian Encyclopedia:


RACES:

The Grey
Spoiler


The Tabula Rasa
Spoiler


The Lorrites
Spoiler


The Gaians
Spoiler


The Ventronauts
Spoiler


The Zerrynians
Spoiler


You can also view this all here: http://suinia.deviantart.com/gallery/28079007
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  #2  
fabricek
Writer Of The YearGreeter Of The Year
 
Default 01-14-2011, 01:09 PM
Oh yessss
I´ve been waiting for a work written by you. Don´t you just love shaping and creating the world in which your story will take place? That is basically the thing that attracts me the most, hehe
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  #3  
Suinia
Game Reviewer
 
Default 02-17-2011, 12:26 PM
Here's more planning!

MAP:


Legend: (Capitals shown as dots.)
Spoiler



Races:
Spoiler
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  #4  
Suinia
Game Reviewer
 
Default 04-29-2011, 11:18 AM
I HAS PROGRESS!

NOTE: The origin stories are going to be longer than the actual 'regular' chapters.
Lots of information needs to be covered in each one as well... So the regular chapters won't be nearly as fast paced as the origin stories.

Reading Order:
Chapter One: Shade Origins (Reading Presently)
Chapter Two: Water Origins (Not Written)
Chapter Three: Blackwater (Not Written)


Chapter One: Shade Origins
(The Origin Story of Lucifer and Lilith)

It was a particularly average day in every sense of the word. The sun shone through a thin layer of clouds as spring began to make a few tentative steps away from winter. The streets were awash with a dirty-slushy-snow as cars could frequently be seen skidding, sliding, and sloshing all over the place. An odd sense of apathy had seemingly descended upon people as the melting powder simply sat on their walkways un-shovelled like some unwelcome relative at a wedding.


Lily lived with her parents, being just a second year student at university, and found that this choice had its definitive benefits and disadvantages. For one thing the bus she was waiting for took approximately an hour to get to school (counting the transfer to the Subway) and there was the fact that her parents were divorced. It meant that all she really needed had to be packed away and fit within a few bags as she went from-house-to-house. Luckily… Her parents got along. (For the most part anyways). They also only lived about two blocks away from each other but it still meant that Lily and her little brother, Ted, had to constantly pick everything up and migrate back-and-forth on a weekly basis. She mentally shrugged, it was better than the alternative. It's not like she'd be able to afford the rent anywhere else, not in this economy anyways.


She allowed her gaze to wander until it rested upon a puddle where her murky reflection stared back up at her. Long, black hair with rather straight bangs that all but obscured her eyebrows with relatively narrow eyes and a small nose with an equally small chin. She wore what all other art student's wore, clothing that one might wear to an interview. That was one thing she did not particularly like about the Art's department, everyone was always so well dressed; sometimes it was exhausting trying to keep up with their ever-changing-sense of fashion. As such she wore one of those stylish grey coats with three buttons on either side with a black-and-white scarf tucked around her neck as well as simple slightly-skinny jeans in addition to black flats. Admittedly, she wasn't particularly thrilled with her selection of garments but it would have to do.


With a lurch and a gasp of smoke, the bus appeared on the far end of the street. Lily allowed herself a momentary sigh of relief as she pulled out her bus pass from one of her coat's pockets. That was another thing she hated about living so far away from school; sometimes the buses had a mind of their own. Who knows when they would be on time, early, or late. Although, things would probably be better if she bothered to get her driver's license… Twenty years old and not even a learners…


Suddenly something… odd… flashed in the corner of her eye. Startled, she whirled around to get a better view and found that the anomaly was still there. Not like any other little flash that might appear in your eye, or had appeared in her own. (A few notable times surfaced in her mind where, after watching a particularly scary movie, all she'd seen were 'monsters' just on the edge of her peripheral.) But this thing was different; it was most definitely real and showed no sign of disappearing. Not that it looked particularly strange in its shape, roughly looking like a young man, but there was something odd about him. Something different…


Lily couldn't quite put it into words. The man had short, black hair, with triangular bangs with high cheekbones and a jutting chin with a little cleft. Two small side burns extended down to just about the right length which seemed normal enough, not to mention his medium-thick eyebrows which were nicely defined. He had a rather thick neck which extended to broad shoulders and muscular definition that peeked through a rather strange outfit. He seemed to be wearing a lined-fleece sleeveless shirt that had a large collar that surrounded his neck comparable to a flared turtleneck. A zipper extended down the center and led towards belted, jeans and nondescript, black shoes. The strangest part, aside from this thing she couldn't really put into words, was a thin scar that extended diagonally across his left cheek. He seemed to be about Lily's age at around twenty or twenty-one… but… she'd never seen him before.


And all the while the strangeness about him pulsated in her field of vision. He stood out amongst everything else in somehow a more vibrant way, everything around him seemed to pale in comparison, almost looked as if everything else was less lively… He made everything seem unnatural. Lily glanced around worriedly and, for the first time, noticed how strange everything looked. Everything was so dark, so bleak and utterly dreary compared to him…


She was so lost in her thoughts that she hardly noticed as the bus passed her completely and sped off, away, into the distance. Once she finally snapped back and composed herself, she let out a small groan. Lily would have to wait a-half-an-hour before another one came. She shook her head slightly and put her pass away as she looked again towards the young man. His arms were crossed and his head was tilted to one side as he tapped his foot impatiently. Was he waiting for someone? He seemed to be staring right at her… Lily looked around to be sure but there was no one else around. It was just him and her.


Then, before she could really think about what she was doing, she began a casual walk towards the young man. She screamed on the inside as her heart pulsated in her ears as the man's… vibrancy never once fluctuated. It was transfixing… it was so utterly strange and abnormal… Lily was surprised no one else noticed this. That was a good point, where was everyone else? How come no one else was-
"Hello."
Oh god did he just say something? Or did she imagine it?
"Hello," The man said again slowly.


"Uh… hi," Lily hesitated.
The man studied her for a few moments, "so you can see me?"
Lily was taken aback by the question, "of course I can?"
"No I mean," The young man paused and seemed to think before he chose his words, "like you can see the… 'difference'?"
Lily looked at him once more to be sure, "you're definitely different in some way but I can't quite-"
"Describe it," he finished the sentence for her.
"Exactly."
He nodded in understanding, "I have something to show you… No don't look at me like that it's important. Notice how everything you see around you seems… Wrong. That's because it is. It is wrong. If you follow me I can show you the truth, I can put an end to this waking-dream. But… There's a catch. You will never be able to dream this dream again. Everything you've ever known and were ever familiar with will be gone forever."


Lily's blood ran cold. Everything? Just what was this guy asking her? And just what did he want to show her? And what was this about a dream…? It all sounded highly irrational. She was already shaking her head, preparing an answer, when he interrupted her.
"Everything you see around you is a lie. None of this is real."
"How can you even say that?"
"Just follow me. Let me show you. I can show you the tunnel without you entering… You can make your choice then."
"Why should I follow you?" Lily was sceptical.
The man shrugged, "You just missed your bus. You've got time to spare."
Lily eyed him suspiciously, "Somehow I get the feeling that you won't leave me alone until I follow."
He chuckled and smiled grandly as he turned around and began to walk down the street. Lily followed him hesitantly, keeping her distance, as he turned a few corners and crossed a few crosswalks.
"So what's your name?" He asked.
"It's Lily," She responded automatically, "how about you?"
"That's a nice name, kind of a shame really… Oh and my name's… um… Eric?" Eric responded unconvincingly.
"I see…"


They continued walking until the streets opened and expanded onto a large field with a playground at its centre.
"We're almost there," 'Eric' instructed.
"So tell me one thing," Lily began, "what makes you so 'different'? Why do you look so… strange?"
"Me? I look strange?" He feigned offense, "it'll all be clear in a few moments."
They stopped in front of a large abstract-drawing of chalk imbedded in the cement. Lily puzzled over the strange multi-vibrant designs and realized, with a shock, that the drawings had the same eerie quality of the young man. Eric walked around the drawing for a few moments and motioned Lily to follow. Anxiously, as if unsure what might happen next, she followed him. Then, suddenly, something even more strange happened. The drawing gained an odd sort of depth. It expanded and spiralled down into the ground like an unfolding spiral staircase leading to uncertain depths beyond.
Eric took two steps down the chalk-staircase. "This is where you make your choice," He turned around for dramatic effect, "continue living your delusion or follow me… And we can see just how deep the rabbit hole goes…"
Lily groaned at the cliché saying, "That saying is awfully cliché."
"What?"
"Never mind… Look I'm not… I'm not sure… I…" Lily hesitated as Eric's face seemed to cloud over as a sad little frown replaced his smile, "I just…"


Despite her initial resistance there was something that felt… very right about all of this. It was like a dream had become a reality or reality had become a dream. Everything else was moving so slowly, a swing swinging in slow motion… Everything seemed heavy. Everything was bleak. Everything, except for Eric and the chalk staircase. It was drawing her in, it was calling to her… Lily hesitated as she glanced around uncertainly before she shook her head, rolled her eyes, and took one step onto the staircase. "You know what? Fuck it. Let's do this."
Eric grinned in triumph, "Then follow me!"


He began to race down the staircase at a breakneck speed as Lily desperately tried to keep up. As they headed down, down, deep into whatever sort of hole this was the strange vibrancies intensified and seemed to flash through different types.
"Red," Eric called at the beginning.
Then the vibrancy changed to something else.
"Blue," Eric called out again.
It changed once more.
"Yellow," He stated as he continued to sprint down the stairs.
"What… are these?" Lily gasped as she tried to keep up.
"They're colours," Eric stated obviously, "they're the 'difference' you mentioned. The Greylands or the Shadow Realm has none. It's all in a greyscale."
"Greylands…"
"It's what we call the dream world we just left!"
"… This is a lot to process right now…"
"Don't worry after the initiation you'll have plenty of time to rest…. Pink!" Eric explained and called out another 'colour' as the hues changed again.
"Fuchsia, Green, Amber, Violet, Gold, Silver, Brown, Chartreuse…" Eric called out as the corresponding cloours flashed all around them.
"There's so many!" Lily exclaimed.
"I know right!"
They continued running for what seemed like forever until Lily finally asked, "How… much longer… I'm… I'm not sure if I can…"
"Don't worry we're almost there!" Eric exclaimed excitedly.
"Once we're there," Eric began again, "I'll tell you my real name."
"Wait what?"
"My real name! You'll get your 'real name' as well. Don't worry! It's all part of the initiation."


Lily wasn't sure if she liked his explanation but continued following him anyways. But all too suddenly Eric halted in front of a large, oak door. Lily caught up to him and tried to breathe 'extra normal' as if in an attempt to suggest that the whole ordeal hadn't actually winded her. But he seemed to be out of breath too.
"Lily," Eric stated proudly as he opened the door, "welcome to Malhaltin."


---


Lily's eyes widened as she gave a sharp intake of breath. It wasn't that the location was particularly colourful (like the chalk stairway) but it was the muted colours, the combination and dull subtle explosions that came together to form something absolutely breath taking. It appeared as if they were in the depths of a large cavern and the doorway they just exited (which was now silently being closed by Eric) was connected to a giant central stalactite which connected at the bottom to a stalagmite. Several other doors were lined around and led to, assumedly, more chalk staircases to spiral and interconnect all the way to the uncertain surface. They were presently on a walkway made out of stone with a flimsy railing that seemed to offer little protection if one were to actually fall against it or even lean on it really. Hundreds if not thousands of stalagmites extended from the cavern's ceiling as a massive network of stone walkways (and flimsy railings) connected each other in a massive catacomb-like maze. The rich browns and smooth texture of the rocks were apparent as small little floating balls of light flickered in the darkness illuminating the whole enclosure creating a massive sense of space instead of enclosed-ness that one might expect from being underground. Towards the bottom, on the other end of one of the railways, was a sense of great distance to the cave floor below as shimmering, luminescent water could be seen at the very bottom. It seemed to glow with an eerie quality all its own bathing the world in a slightly-blue tinge. Various stalagmites had entrances and little designs or signs decorated around them as some wafts of smoke extended towards the uncertain surface as if as a reminder that others existed in this change city. Additionally few shadowy shapes could be seen passing along the walkways as the lights flickered occasionally.


"This is… This is… breath taking," Lily stammered as she turned to face Eric again, really face him. It was odd… It felt as if she was seeing him for the first time as she noticed his pale skin and deep-violet eyes. He smiled at her. She glanced at her own skin and gave out a small cry of shock, she was grey. Her clothes were grey, black… And her eyes… She glanced in the reflective surface of a puddle; they were black.
"Oh god Eric… This," Lily started, she felt so naked, so alone in a world full of colour.
"Don't worry," Eric prodded gently, "I have to take you to the Elder. She'll initiate the ceremony that'll allow you to stay in this world…"


With that Eric grabbed Lily's hand and hurried her along one of the walkways. Lily found herself weighted down, sluggish, gasping for air. "What's… what's wrong… with me…?" She stammered as she fell against the floor. An odd dizziness had started to swirl around in her head.
"It's why I need to get you to her fast! When you're grey… you can… only last for so long… Here…" Eric explained as he lifted her off her feet and began to sprint towards the elder.
"Eric… Eric," Lily moaned.
"What is it?" Eric asked worriedly.
"Your name… You said you'd tell me… your name… Your real name…" Lily continued quietly.
He smiled nervously, "it's Lucifer."



Lucifer crossed another walkway and burst into a relatively large stalactite where an elderly woman and little girl sat with wide-saucer eyes. The elderly woman wore a black shall on top of a brown robe and upon the shawl appeared to be several runes sewn in a fine silver thread. The little girl had rather short, black, hair and deep-brown eyes. The room was circular with a staircase that led to a second floor and similar steps which led down below. A simple red, carpet was placed in the centre as well as a few chairs, miscellaneous furniture and books were strewn across the floor. Notably a long, thin, but sheathed sword hung on the wall as if for decoration.


"Hecate," Lucifer began as he placed the, now unconscious, Lily on the floor, "she needs the rite of initiation…"
"Stand back," Hecate ordered in a commanding voice. Lucifer and the little girl wordlessly did as instructed.
Hecate shook her head slightly, "She's a little old."
"I know that but she might be the one that we're…" Lucifer's voice trailed off.
Hecate frowned in disapproval, "You know the risks with older candidates." Hecate made a vague motion towards the girl as she carefully began unbuttoning Lily's jacket and began to unfurl the scarf, and remove her shirt. Lucifer blushed slightly as he continued to watch.
"The hell do you think you're doing, boy?" Hecate snarled.
Lucifer averted his gaze, "Sorry… I… Sorry." And exited.



---



Once every last article of clothing was removed, all that was left was a slender, grey figure in the centre of the room curled slightly on the red rug. "Thank you for your help, Belial." The little girl nodded slightly and turned to go but hesitated.
"There's a strange aura about her," Belial said in a child-like voice.
Hecate nodded, "There might be hope for her yet."


Hecate positioned herself a few paces away from Lily, extended both of her gnarled fingers upwards and closed her eyes. She began speaking in a tone hardly more audible than a whisper as words slithered out of her mouth in an inky-red ink, conjoining, connecting, and encircling the sleeping form. They surrounded Lily and covered her like a blanket before they seemingly were absorbed into skin creating an odd red-aura that glowed with a sort of unholy quality. Suddenly, Hecate opened her eyes and said in a commanding voice, "Tell me your name!" There was no response as the elderly woman suddenly shifted stances and grabbed hold of a particularly thick thread and began to pull. She then proceeded to weave the thread into an odd abstract pattern that hovered in mid air until, what seemed like cursive font, hovered above the girl like an umbrella. She repeated, "Tell me your name!" This time, for a fraction of a second, a few bits of thread glowed an inky black. Swiftly, the woman began to strip away the excess bits of thread until only a few more were left. "Tell me your name!" She commanded once more as the blackness pulsated. This time, she shaved off only a few pieces before she took several steps backwards as she examined her handiwork.


Hecate proceeded to shake her head in disbelief as a slight smile tickled the tips of her lips, "I don't believe it… Such an ancient… Such a powerful name," She raised her hands once more in an imposing gesture, "Arise young Lilith."
Instantly the floating thread glowed and exploded as tiny shards of light danced down towards the young woman now known as Lilith and faded into her body. Instantly her hair grew a shade darker, her skin a pale-peach instead of a pale-grey. Belial rushed back in with a basic set of clothes and swiftly dressed Lilith. Clearly she'd had quite a lot of experience in that particular regard.


Then, without a second to spare, Lilith's eyes opened revealing a startling strawberry-red hue. She stumbled to her feet as Hecate wordlessly guided her to a seat. "Rest child, you've been through quite a lot," She instructed.
Lilith blinked uncertainly as she observed her new clothing which consisted of a black sleeveless top and dark-blue skinny jeans. She noticed, however, that on a more familiar note she was still wearing her black flats. Lilith glanced with apprehension towards Hecate, "You changed my clothes?"
"It's all part of the process," Hecate stated in a dismissive voice as she retrieved an odd blue-coloured fruit which closely resembled an orange. "Here eat this. You must be hungry."


Lilith took the odd fruit gingerly and took a tentative bite as a sweet taste that was something between a strawberry and a blueberry overwhelmed her senses. "But…. Eric… I mean Lucifer…"
"Right here," Lucifer stated carefully as he re-entered the room, "did everything go alrig-"
"How exposed was I in front of him?" Lilith asked without really acknowledging his presence.
"Don't you worry dear, he was escorted outside long before that," Hecate winked knowingly.
"Well… Uh… But everything went well?" Lucifer stammered not really knowing what to say.
Hecate nodded, "Lilith is fine."


"Lilith?!" Lucifer exclaimed.
"It seems like you might be right after all," Hecate acknowledged as she stood up and retrieved the sword from the wall and unsheathed it, "this is for you."
"What!?" Lilith exclaimed.
"It's Muramasa. A legendary blade handed down through generations to generations for the express purpose of being… Yours," Hecate explained as Lilith clasped the hilt and admired it.
"This is…" Lilith began, "I don't know anything about sword fighting."
"Everything will come in time, Lilith," Hecate smiled.
"You keep saying Lilith but I don't understand…"
"Let me explain," Hecate began again, "beings who come from the Greyland live as shadows. It's a false world akin to living in a dream of sorts. In order to shed all of that away you must undergo the Rite of Naming also known as the Rite of Initiation. We've all gone through it, we all had past names. Your new name as a result of this process is Lilith."


"Lilith…" Lilith spoke it allowed, "It's odd… It's so strange but it seems… Very familiar."
"Then the process was a success!" Lucifer exclaimed.
"But I have so many questions," Lily frowned as she sheathed the blade and placed it across her lap, "Like what is the Shadow Land? The Greylands? What about my family? My brother? What's… what is all of this? Where am I…?"
"Ah that old chestnut," Hecate chuckled as she made herself comfortable, "shall I begin?"



---



About two thousands years ago something strange happened across the Greylands. It was as if a tear had cut through the very fabric of reality creating an unstable plain which warped and distorted itself creating the separate reality known as 'The Greylands.' It captured almost everything and everyone within its murky depths fashioning the world that you know. It's often referred to a 'dream-like' reality given the fact that it doesn't really exist per-sei. It is said that we all lived in there for a time until someone snapped. Someone was awoken and found a way out, found his way here. Legend says that this whole city, all of everything that you see now, existed before he arrived. No one really knows why… Just that it was here. Some of us view it as a gift from the Goddess Luna… Slowly he began to rebuild, bring more followers down, and after a few centuries we have the working city known as Malhaltin.


As for your brother and your family… We've discovered something quite odd in recent times. We used to believe that every single being in the Greylands was a person just waiting to be awoken from the endless sleep… But we've found that's actually not the case. Most people in the Shadow world are just that, Shadows. They don't actually exist. They simply exist around the 'Sleeping Ones' to preserve the ever-present nightmare state until they can be brought to their senses. Lucifer has been following you for quite a time. If your family has not noticed him then I'm afraid they aren't real.


Now as for where you are…



---



Suddenly a tall, robed, figure burst into the room. "Hecate, come outside quick! Something… Something is attacking!"
The four of them rushed outside to see a rather fearsome sight. What appeared to be a giant serpent, with glimmering purple scales and wide green eyes, had risen from the centre of the pool at the bottom of the cave. About seven additional red-coloured tentacles stemmed from this creature as it whipped, tackled, encircled, and generally caused a huge amount of damage throughout the cave. Various Malhaltinss leapt from the railings into the frothing water wielding different weapons and firing off miscellaneous bursts of magic.


"I was afraid this day might come," Hecate said in an unnaturally calm voice, "Lucifer…" Lucifer already had a large broadsword brandished and was about to leap. "Lucifer," Hecate began again a bit irritably, "take Lilith to the Distance Runes."
"What? But we can take care of this… We can…" Lucifer's voice trailed off.
"Don't you dare argue with me, boy!" She exclaimed.
Lilith clutched the sheathed Muramasa anxiously, "what's happening?"
"It is not your concern," Hecate waved dismissively as she began to draw a series of red, circular, runes in the air, "head to the distance runes. You can help us later. What matters now is that you live."


Lucifer's jaw clenched in protest as Belial handed him and Lilith a pair of black traveling cloaks. "I'm coming back," He said firmly but Hecate ignored him, "here follow me."
Lilith, clearly bewildered, ran after Lucifer as they darted across several bridges until they finally reached a large, circular platform with several silver designs carved into its surface. Lucifer quickly put on his cloak as Lilith strung Muramasa's sheath across her shoulder and put on her own cloak as well. Somehow Hecate's voice whispered in their ears, "Head to Llushyne, the last Safe House. Lucifer knows where it is. God speed."


Lucifer grabbed Lilith's hand, "Sometimes these things can… It's just to make sure we both appear at the right… Place…"
However Lilith hardly paid any attention, she was too busy focusing on the serpent creature as it continued to decimate the near-paradise that had once existed before. Slowly the runes around them began to hum and glow profusely as a shield of transparent silver formed around them.
Lucifer watched in horror as Hecate continued casting a rather complicated spell which now had several circular runes that closely resembled a clock hovering around her. Finally, she released the spell as an odd energy pulsed from her and traveled to fill and penetrate every corner of the large cave. Everything was frozen in place. The horrible scene had transformed into a perpetual mural.
"What happened?" Lilith screamed to be heard above the deafening roar of the runes.
"She cast a time spell. Everything will stand still until… Until something can be done," Lucifer said quickly, "don't worry about this now… We… Can do something later… Brace yourself… We're about to launch…"


Thoughts flashed rapidly through Lilith's mind, visions of her former 'false' life, memories of the chalk staircase, of what Hecate had told her… Suddenly her eyes focused upon something curious in the distance. Within the time spell something appeared to be moving… A slender, woman with long purple-pink hair wearing a mask that had a sad face, complete with a teardrop, painted on it. Lilith's brow furrowed in confusion as she continued to look at the creature, all the while the runes began to glow and increase in volume. Then, to her horror, the woman turned and looked straight at her. The hair had the back of Lilith's neck stood on end as the woman began to leap from platform to platform as she raised a clawed hand as if about to strike. Lilith let out a scream as the whole world disappeared around her, the whole cave vanished in a blinding flash of silver.


---



When she opened her eyes again she was lying on a grassy field, Lucifer was looking down at her.
"Are you all right? He asked.
Lilith shook her head, "No. I'm really not."
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  #5  
Peapplea
 
Default 05-08-2011, 12:12 AM
Are you going to put some humors in it?
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  #6  
Suinia
Game Reviewer
 
Default 05-08-2011, 09:59 AM
Yes but not as much as the other one. :0

The Water chapter has funnier/less serious characters. :C
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  #7  
Peapplea
 
Default 05-09-2011, 08:06 AM
Uh, what are these set for? The age. Im thinking of 14+?
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  #8  
Suinia
Game Reviewer
 
Default 05-09-2011, 08:55 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Peapplea View Post
Uh, what are these set for? The age. Im thinking of 14+?
What would make you say that? o-o

But I guess they kind of would be.
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  #9  
Peapplea
 
Default 05-10-2011, 03:50 AM
Dunno, but the title reminds me of The Red Pyramid, so...
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  #10  
SilentPredator
Screen Reviewer
 
Default 05-26-2011, 05:34 PM
Your shit always sucks. =/
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